I am used to living my life in the cycle of the academic year; in fact, except for the few years between graduating from college and returning to grad school for my Counseling Master’s, I have always been tethered to a school calendar, whether attending a school or working at one. And honestly, in that brief interlude, something just didn’t feel right. The school year cycle was always the right rhythm for me: the excitement and anticipation of September, the cool relief of sliding into Winter Break, the optimism of April in knowing that we are thisclose to the end of the year, and finally the triumph (and let’s be honest, the sheer exhaustion) of closing out June and stepping into the wide-open summer!
All of that to say, each point in the year holds ritual tasks, questions, emotions, and rites of passage for the current graduating class, and we’ve arrived at the point in the year where students are celebrating the end of their high school chapters and their childhoods. 🎉 CONGRATULATIONS, SENIORS! 🎉 However, the timeline of international college applications is more stretched out than the American timeline, with some European countries barely having opened applications just now, so there are certainly many students still in the thick of applying. Nonetheless, the finality of June graduations is upon us, and Class of 2026 students, wherever they currently are in their application process, will be off to college in the blink of an eye.
As counselors, we understandably spend so much time and energy supporting each Senior class through said intense application period, and once that’s over, we turn our attention to the next upcoming class, the Juniors, who are in their own intense point of preparation. But the sentiment tends to be, “the Seniors are largely done, everyone can relax now for a while”, as though it’s a box to check off, as though they’ve reached the finish line and there is nothing more to be done with them once we’ve done our due diligence in helping them through the important self-reflection, the meticulous list-building, the grueling essays, and at long last, the admission decisions. However, my background as a school counselor who worked a lot with students on their mental health and life balance led me to ponder every year in the spring semester… now what? I’ve helped my students get through all of that, and they most definitely deserve a breather after they finish the application process and certainly after graduation; but it’s not the end at all– it’s really just the beginning.
In the midst of staying alert to emails about housing, roommates, freshman orientation, and sometimes visa applications, students are embarking on two huge life transitions: 1) a departure from the K-12 school system they’ve always known, followed by a shift to college academics, and 2) leaving the home and family environment in which they grew up, and then learning to manage themselves and their lives as adults. Each of these is BIG in its own right, let alone doing them simultaneously. And for students who choose to take the exciting leap to study in another country, I offer you a third layer: Leaving the familiarity, normalcy, and sometimes language of their home country in favor of an expansive international adventure! I aim to be very real with families about both the benefits and challenges of international study, and I don’t like to sugarcoat things, so let’s break down these two big life changes further, through the lens of international study.
Academic Transition
Some students spend their entire childhoods in the same school district, while others move around any number of times; of course a wide spectrum of experiences there. Still, the large majority of American students grow up in the framework of K-12 education, the trajectory of which is more or less predictable, and, we hope, have enjoyed a fun, supportive, social four years in high school. For the luckiest of students, they’ve found a second home in their school, a close group of friends, and teachers who genuinely care for them and their respective academic journeys. Leaving that experience can be scary and anxiety-inducing, particularly if the student is unsure about what they want to study or is having trouble envisioning their future. Others may have had a less idyllic high school experience, but nonetheless are used to the predictability of high school. We hope that students are leaving having felt supported by teachers and school staff, having been referred for extra help when needed, having been supported through mistakes and setbacks, and having been mentored by caring adults. It’s important to add that not all students have passed through high school with a smooth or scaffolded experience, and there may be a high degree of relief and excitement to move on to a new chapter.
College, on the other hand, is a whole new world. Suddenly students have been set free in all ways, usually for the first time. Parents are no longer there to talk to teachers, intervene regarding a questionable grade, help with studying, or monitor daily progress. Students go from 15-35 peers in a classroom to sometimes upwards of 500 bodies packed into a giant auditorium with a professor talking at them from down in the front. Asking questions now seems like a preposterous idea in front of so many strangers! For help, students must seek out the professor during office hours, or perhaps there’s a teaching assistant to ask. School hours are no longer fixed from Monday-Friday; now students have to manage their individual class schedule consisting of various courses taught at various hours in various buildings. Students will spend less time in class and be expected to study, research, and write detailed papers in their newfound “free” time, with little guidance as to how to organize themselves. Moving forward, they probably won’t have lots of small, regular assignments to spread out the grade distribution, but rather a few big assignments and exams that will comprise their entire grade. But hey, no pressure, right?? 😬 Suffice it to say, there will be LOTS of academic changes and probably a good amount of adjustment at the beginning, and they need to be independent and resilient enough to find their footing. This will take time, probably a few stumbles, and quite likely some middle-of-the-night phone calls home. (My mom reminded me for years about the 2am crying phone call in October of my freshman year at Boston University.)
Finally, those courageous students embarking on an international adventure are taking it to a whole new level. Not only are they reconciling the above challenges and changes just like their peers at home institutions, they are doing it in a new country and culture, often very far from home. I will say to every student and their family that this international adventure is not for everyone, and that is a-okay. But for those who are taking the very awesome leap, it is extra important to choose the location and university wisely based on good academic, social, and cultural fit for the student. (Why yes, we’ve had this conversation many times if we are currently working together!) Having surmounted that hurdle, academically speaking, there are some important things to point out specific to studying internationally. While it’s true that I just got done scaring the bejeezus out of you about the skills needed to be successful in college, in the grand scheme of things, the U.S. offers a ton of variety in terms of size of colleges, which often determines students’ ability to easily build relationships with professors, get help, and seek resources; there are so many smaller colleges such that students truly can choose a more personal experience than, say, a huge public flagship campus.
In contrast, in much of Europe, most universities are public and quite large, requiring a great degree of independence and thinking on one’s feet. That said, many campuses take great pains to try making the experience feel “smaller” for new students, particularly those coming from abroad. For example, working with the university admissions representative for a university in the UK or Ireland is often a very personalized process, and they will help coordinate arrival, orientation, and initial support/resources on campus. On the other hand, depending on where a student attends, the experience may be quite hands-off by the university, and students are largely on their own to navigate (think Netherlands, Italy, Germany, Scandinavia). The university does not administer housing, there may not be much of a campus culture of clubs and sports, and students may feel like a number; attending university is literally just for studying (though there are absolutely exceptions). Another difference is the style of instruction. Where U.S. higher education has evolved to include more collaboration, hands-on learning, inquiry, and interactive teaching, in many European countries, it is not necessarily customary to get to know professors or question information taught in class, and the course format may be largely lecture-based rather than interactive. Again, there are plenty of exceptions, and private universities will be structured differently. Researching the prospective experience at any given university is absolutely essential to avoid coming onto campus and being unpleasantly surprised. This is a big part of the work I do with students while we are considering their options and building the college list.
So, in conclusion, students are doing ALL OF THIS, at the same time, using a still-developing 18-year-old brain. Not to be dramatic, but this is a very big deal. If they have chosen their college well, they will likely be absolutely fine, and of course we hope for a successful “launch” and a healthy dose of thriving!
Part II of this blog post will focus on the second upcoming big transition: adulthood and independence. But first, lest you are finishing this long read in a low-key or full-on panic and you’re wondering if this is the right thing after all, I’d like to reassure you that this is all very doable and worthwhile. Below are some practical suggestions for both students and parents to help get yourselves ready academically for September:
Students
Start to practice the practical skills that you will need to manage your schedule and academic commitments. The more familiar you are with these tasks when you arrive at college, the easier your transition will be and the quicker you will settle into your new life! You may already be doing some of these, but if not, it’s very important to start immediately:
- Implement use of a to-do list, calendar, alarms and timers, a reminder system, and an accurate contact list
- Learn how to write a professional and grammatically correct email to adults you don’t know
- Learn how to make a phone call to a person you don’t know, a company, a medical office, etc.
- Look up and bookmark ahead of time the support services offered at your college, such as the Tutoring Center or International Office – do not wait for a moment of crisis
- Get familiar with the campus and city maps for your new location and research transit routes that might be useful to get to class or other campus facilities
- Don’t use AI to figure out problems that can be solved with human interaction and will help you learn important skills
- Create a LinkedIn profile and résumé to have ready in case opportunities come your way
- Keep an active mind during summer vacation – read a book, listen to a podcast that delves into an academic area of interest, play chess, keep up with current events, etc.
Parents
If you are used to being highly involved in your student’s daily tasks and routine, the best thing you can do to support them is try to take a step back this summer and let them drive their schedule and choices. This is not an easy transition for parents and often involves second-guessing, new worries, and possibly friction. Shower them with love and enjoy these precious weeks before they leave… and also help them stretch their wings with confidence. Easy, no??
- Encourage your teen to set an alarm to wake themselves up each day and keep a consistent, healthy sleep schedule
- Coach them to take on the tasks above with increasing independence
- Get familiar with the college’s policies on records-keeping (grade reporting, etc.) and parental contact – it is highly unlikely that they will communicate with you directly since your student will be a legal adult
- Help your student self-correct when they make a mistake or stumble, rather than doing it for them
- Encourage them not to give up easily if something is harder than expected!
Above all, both students and parents should give themselves grace while learning how to navigate this ambiguous period of preparing for the unknown. YOU’VE GOT THIS. Stay tuned for Part II next week!
© 2026 Dafna Adler & Wanderlust College Counseling
